Talk to My Agent

Cooper just had his first headshots-- uh, er, I mean portraits made. He was very laid back, as usual, and we got a cute photo of him. As part of the photo package we purchased, he will get a temporary page on St. Vincent's website. (How many websites does one newborn need?) We dressed him in pretty traditional baby blues rather than doing Bama gear. The problem is, most of that stuff looks like it's more for tailgating than portraits.

We all did well for our first night together. Cooper ate really well at most of his feedings, and between feedings he slept like a... well, baby. His sodium levels are back to normal, so that looks to have been a lab error. There has been a little bit of a concern about jaundice coming on, but his Lilly Ruben levels are only up slightly today. I don't know what ball gowns have to do with jaundice, but hey, I'm no doctor. All the nurses are hoping the neonatologist who is coming on today will tell us to leave. I guess my naked sleepwalking isn't going over too well back here...

Kel's parents left this morning. My mom is bringing Savannah up, and we're going to take turns spending some time with her.

After a week, many of you are probably beginning to suspect the truth -- there is no baby. That's right, it's all been a long, nine-month hoax for a reality TV series we are creating called "Alienate Your Friends and Get Written Out of Your Parents' Wills." It's a working title. For the photos and video, Cooper has been played by Deep Roy, the same little actor who played all of the Oompa Loompas in the new Willy Wonka flick. (We wanted to get Mini-Me, but talk about a diva!) Special thanks to the folks a WETA in New Zealand for teaching us all about forced perspective. For those of you who feel betrayed, that's the point! We just signed a four-year, 10-series deal with Fox. We can buy more friends. See ya, suckers!

Seriously, keep up the prayers. We want to go home.